Covid is in the Air this 2021, and we've found the perfect match for your dwindling savings and necessary stimulus money. Our latest drop of Secret Lair is jam-packed with non-essential cards that you will never be able to seriously play in any real format ever again. Sure, we could print more inaccessible secret-lair-only cards to further fatigue your wallet. But, why provide something you'd actually want when we can pump out any old junk and you'd still buy it due to the fear of missing out again.
So take a gander at the cards below and join us at secretlair.wizards.com March 1st at exactly 3:13 am Central Time to preorder each drop you will regret purchasing if it wasn't for the secondary market of scalpers driving up the prices.
FOMO, FOMO, BANNED TRASH THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY BUT WILL BUY ANYWAY
FOMO, FOMO, BANNED TRASH THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY BUT WILL BUY ANYWAY is available only in Foil.
- 1x Foil alternate-art Deathrite Shaman
- 1x Foil alternate-art Demonic Attorney
- 1x Foil alternate-art Splinter Twin
- 1x Foil alternate-art Mental Misstep
- 1x Ounce of Electrolyte Infused Brawndo - It's What Plants Crave
- Foil: $39.99/€44.99*/£39.99*
*inclusive of local VAT
Think this is your normal cardboard? As if! While most cardboard is used for eating (and being washed down with a warm glass of Brawndo) when your weekly rations run out, only these forever-banned cards are worth keeping in your shoebox. Boasting foiling that will curl more than a body-builder fueled by Brawndo and 'roids, each card features recycled art that didn't make the original cut for other cards.
(Note: We are planning an upcoming B&R announcement. In that announcement, we plan to ban Uro, Titan of Nature's Wrath in Pioneer, Modern, and Historic. Additionally, we are continuing discussions about doing the same in Legacy. While we are still working internally on the larger B&R announcement for that week, we wanted to share this information ahead of this sale.)
Here at Adventure Emporium, we truly do love Magic: The Gathering. We hope you enjoyed this parody article. If you want any more (we think) hilarious articles like this, let us know on our contact page and by subscribing to our monthly newsletter.